Moderation
by Amaya Kira
Summary: Renji refused to meet his captain's eyes as he stood in front of his desk in shame. He knew he shouldn't have had that last jar of sake. ByaRen yaoi


_I do not own Bleach. I just enjoy writing about the characters. _

__A/N: This story ended up being a lot longer than I planned. It was going to be about half the length but every time I tried to end it something else would extend the plot. Oh well, I hope you enjoy.

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><p>Abarai Renji was not known for moderation. He was all or nothing in all aspects of his life. Nights at the bars around the Sereitei inevitably ended with the red head passed out either in the bar or in the gutter. His drinking buddies were no better. Matusmoto Rangiku, Hisagi Shuuhei, and Kira Izuru usually ended up in similar positions.<p>

Eventually, someone from their respective squads would usually come to collect them. Rikichi, an unseated member of the 6th division and Renji's unashamed admirer, would be the one to drag the lieutenant back to his quarters to sleep off the alcohol. He would then rush into the office, a couple minutes late, and nursing a very nasty hangover that made him irritable until after lunch.

The captain of the 6th division was well versed in his vice-captain's habits by this point. Luckily, Renji would normally only show up like this on Monday mornings; the rest of the week was normally at least relatively calm. Why then was Kuchiki Byakuya sitting in the office alone when the day had started an hour before? Perhaps he should search for his lost lieutenant. Not that he was worried or anything, but he did hate it when his squad members were late. Maybe he would wait a bit longer, surely Renji would show up soon?

As the day continued and Renji did not appear, Byakuya began to realize how much he had relied on his lieutenant's consistency. The longer Renji's absence continued, the more he began to feel unsettled. He could not sense Renji's reiatsu, so he must still be passed out. If he didn't know better, he might call this feeling concern; but not for Renji, merely that the other squad members might decide to follow the vice-captain's bad example.

Late in the afternoon, he finally decided to investigate. The timing had nothing to do with the fact that he had not gotten any paperwork done since lunch since he could not focus enough to read the reports. A quick shunpo to Renji's quarters confirmed he had not returned to his quarters. He figured the best method was to question those that Renji normally indulged with. His first stop was the 3rd Squad barracks where Kira was diligently working on his paperwork. The only thing that betrayed his hangover was a small wince as light flooded the unusually dim office.

"Good afternoon, Kuchiki-taicho. What can I do for you?"

"Have you seen Abarai today?"

"No, unfortunately, I haven't seen him since last night. I woke up in my quarters this morning with no memory of anything past my first couple drinks."

That wasn't entirely truthful, he had some vague memories but they all involved himself, Hisagi, and a distinct lack of clothing. He didn't see any reason to mention this the Kuchiki since it did not involve Renji. He was not one to disclose information about his private life to anyone but his closest friends. However, his blush would have given him away if Byakuya had not already continued to his next destination.

The lack of polite goodbye left Kira puzzled. As a noble, Byakuya was always polite, no matter how much of a hurry he was in. He really must be worried about Renji. Perhaps there was more to their relationship than professional.

Hisagi Shuuhei was in worse shape than his lover that day. He had stumbled into the office only half-dressed after hurrying from the 3rd division quarters. For once it was a relief that he was acting-captain so that he wouldn't be disciplined for his arrival. He had otherwise had a fairly productive day, even though his hangover had yet to disappear by the time Kuchiki-taicho came to inquire about the location of his vice-captain.

"Kuchiki-taicho! What are you doing here?" asked Hisagi in obvious surprise.

Byakuya looked disdainfully at the lieutenant. "I know you were in a group that went out drinking last night, including my lieutenant. Do you know of his whereabouts today?"

"Sorry, Kuchiki-taicho. Izuru and I left before Renji and Rangiku. We were barely able to make it back by that point, so I don't know what kind of condition the other two are in."

"Thank you, Hisagi-fukutaicho."

Byakuya swept out of the office coldly, obviously preparing to question Matsumoto. After that interrogation, Hisagi was very glad he wasn't in Renji's place right then. It was dangerous.

The 10th division barracks were surprisingly quiet for a workday. An unnatural chill accompanied the hush on the otherwise sunny day. Byakuya knocked on Hitsugaya's door, knowing the younger captain hated anyone barging in. A gruff "Come in" and a whimper were the response and he opened the door on an _interesting_ scene.

Hitsugaya was quietly working on his paperwork, although this was not the interesting part. Frost laced the walls and everyone's breath could be seen. Matsumoto was struggling in her seat, apparently stuck to the chair.

"Good afternoon, Kuchiki-taicho. Is there something you need?"

"Hello, Hitsugaya-taicho. Yes there is something. May I speak to Matusmoto-fukutaicho about her activities last night?"

Hitsugaya raised an eyebrow and said, "I suppose so, since she hasn't been usefully to me yet today."

While happy to be released from her captivity on the chair, Matsumoto looked less than thrilled to be having a conversation with 6th division captain.

"Sir, I just want to say that – " began Matsumoto before she was cut off by a cold voice and icy glare not unlike her own captain's.

"I don't care what you were up to last night other than how it pertains to my lieutenant's current location. He appears to be the only one of your group that did not make it in for work today."

"Renji didn't show up this morning? We both passed out outside the bar last night but I woke up in my living room this morning. I assumed he got home the same way I did. I have no clue if I got myself home or if someone else brought me back, " mentioned Matsumoto guiltily.

A flat voice echoed across the still chilly room, "I dragged you back after I received several complaints from a bartender. It seems you and Abarai were doing inappropriate things, although details were not offered, thank God. When I arrived, you were in the gutter while Abarai was no where to be found."

The young captain sounded even more annoyed than when Byakuya had first arrived. Even Matsumoto now realized she had gone too far and should probably beg for her captain's forgiveness. Since the captain and vice-captain were both so focused on the other, they missed the slight show of emotion from the stoic noble when Hitsugaya mentioned Renji, Rangiku, and inappropriate actions. In an even icier voice, Byakuya bid them a farewell and left them to their business.

Hoping that Renji had finally woken up so he could sense him, Byakuya reached out his reiatsu. He still told himself it was only professional concern that led him to search for the red head, but he breathed a sigh of relief when he finally keyed in on Renji's rather disorientated reiatsu. The location confused him however, why was Renji in his gardens?

Renji came back to consciousness with a groan. Why was it so bright at this time of the morning? He winced as he tried to peek around, realizing something was off. His rooms were never this bright. He purposefully kept the curtains drawn for mornings like this. He finally registered that he was lying in grass, an occurrence that was not as rare as it should have been. He failed to notice his captain quietly watching him from the shelter of a couple of cherry trees. He finally glanced around in recognition, although his reaction to knowing his location was not as enthusiastic as it could have been.

"Shit, did I end up in the captain's garden again?" groaned Renji, not bothering to keep his voice down since he believed he was alone.

Byakuya had been quietly observing his lieutenant, not wanting to frighten him immediately, How odd, normally he would prefer to catch the man off guard in order to ensure this behavior would not be repeated. However, Renji's disheveled appearance had caught his eye, more than it should have. His kosode was askew, showing hints of his tattoos while his long red hair was not in its normally ponytail, but was free and hanging about his shoulders. Renji's outburst finally brought the captain back to his senses.

To say Byakuya was shocked by this declaration was an understatement. Again? If this was not an isolated incident, perhaps he needed to be sure the gardens were more thoroughly inspected. He decided to step a little closer since Renji was oblivious to his presence at the moment.

"What time is it? What happened last night? Fuck, taicho is going to kill me, I am so late," said Renji in despair as he realized it was actually afternoon, not morning. He buried his head in his hands, using this to convey his misery and shield his sensitive eyes from the brutal sunlight.

When he looked up again, he nearly had a heart attack. Standing motionless near a couple cherry trees was his captain, staring emotionlessly at his subordinate. Renji cowered, knowing he could not outrun Senbonzakura's blades, should his captain choose to release them. He instead decided to deal with the punishment and hope that Byakuya would at least alert the 4th division of his lieutenant's condition when he was done, assuming he survived.

Minutes passed and nothing happened. The red head glanced up and received quite a shock. The noble did not appear angry, instead he appeared both surprised and a little bit confused at his subordinate's reaction to his presence. He obviously hadn't expected a quiet acceptance to his fate. Abarai Renji was not known for being quiet, even around his captain.

"Why are you in my garden, Abarai?"

Renji flinched, as though the words hurt worse than any sword blade. "Umm . . . I uh . . . can't really remember, taicho."

"Very well, go clean yourself up and return to the office in half an hour, not later. We will discuss your actions when you are more coherent," said Byakuya, his face revealing nothing.

A slight blush graced Renji's cheeks as he quickly stood, gave a hasty bow, and shunpo'ed back to his quarters. He forced his hangover into submission, determined not be late again.

As his lieutenant hurried off, Byakuya lingered in the garden, contemplating what he had discovered. It appeared that Renji had some feelings for his captain, and they appeared to be stronger than lust. Otherwise he doubted Renji would have been willing to submit to his punishment like he did. Renji himself might not fully recognize the feelings for what they were, but that was anyone's guess. His search this morning had led Byakuya to conclude that perhaps he also harbored some feeling for his vice-captain, otherwise he never would have personally searched for him.

Coming to a decision, the 6th division captain shunpo'ed back to the office with a speed that could rival Shihouin Yoruichi. It wouldn't do for him to be late after he had berated Renji for exactly the same thing. He also needed some time so he could appear composed even as he felt anything but. It was time to be figure out exactly how Renji felt about him.

Renji rushed into the office with seconds to spare, out of breath and gasping. Byakuya just watched the man emotionlessly as the red head stood awkwardly in front of his desk, blushing slightly. Clearly, he was uncomfortable with the scrutiny. He was also recalling his previous location and the significance it had to the man in front of him.

"Explain yourself." Renji flinched; the low voice was more intimidating than if he had yelled. Renji stared at the floor and started his explanation in a monotone voice.

"Kira-fukutaicho, Hisagi-fukutaicho, me, and Matsumoto-fukutaicho went out last night since we got paid. I know Kira and Hisagi wanted to spend some _personal_ time together, so they left early. Rangiku and I kept drinking, then . . ." Renji trailed off as more of his memories returned. His barely cooled blush returned full force as he recalled exactly what he and Rangiku had been doing.

Byakuya's eyes narrowed infinitesimally and his voice gained an edge that had Renji subtly leaning away, although he stood his ground. "Continue, Abarai."

"Well, we uh . . . might have, kissed a little bit. I think Ran's top . . . uh . . . slipped a little bit so the bartender kicked us out."

If Renji had been looking at his captain, he would have noticed a flash of anger in those steely grey eyes. Byakuya paused before responding, not wanting his lieutenant to notice the momentary lapse of control. "That still does not explain why you were in my garden this morning."

Renji mumbled something, still glaring at the floor. Byakuya raised a delicate eyebrow and his features tightened a bit, although Renji could see none of this. "I can't hear you when you speak to the floor. Look at me when you speak, Abarai."

Renji's head shot up and he leveled a fierce glare at his captain. In a furious voice, he yelled out, "I said I wanted to see you, alright?" He clapped a hand over his mouth after this exclamation as though he couldn't believe he had yelled it at his superior.

For once, Byakuya was rendered speechless, although he did not allow his shock to show. He had not expected such a passionate response, although it did confirm his suspicions about Renji's feelings. The brash red head now stood silently, head bowed and eyes closed, as though waiting for a fitting punishment for his outburst.

Byakuya stood quietly and slowly made his way over to the lieutenant, who tensed but did not open his eyes. Renji kept expecting the steely hiss of a drawn zanpakuto, but refused to run. He had too much pride to consider that, and he did not want his captain to think of him as a coward, even if he did not return his feelings.

He had the brief impression of his captain standing in front of him, looking up at his face before a pair of soft, cool lips pressed against his own. His eyelids fluttered before they closed tightly and he returned the kiss. It was chaste and tender, hinting at a deeper possibility. Renji decided to enjoy it; if he was to die, he wanted a last bit of pleasure.

Byakuya knew his feelings were returned as soon as Renji began to kiss him back, hesitant but hopeful. Their kiss deepened as Renji melted into his captain's embrace, somehow their height difference did not seem awkward. A light nibble at Renji's warm lips granted him entrance and their tongues began to twine together. The intoxicating scent of sakura and cinnamon floated around them, surrounding them in each other's familiar fragrance.

As Renji ran his hands through the silky raven locks, he felt his own hair being tugged out of its ponytail to become entwined in the noble's smaller hands. A groan forced its way out of Renji's throat as they began to part, finally acknowledging their need to breathe. Byakuya did not go any farther than to lightly run is teeth over Renji's earlobe, eliciting a shuddering sigh from the taller man. They finally broke apart before they could lose control, both realizing this was not the place for such displays.

They were both breathing heavily with flushed faces as they watched each other. Their hair was disheveled, although Renji's was more obvious since his was no longer in its customary pineapple. Somehow, Byakuya's kensaiken had not fallen out, although they were a bit askew. Luckily, they had not been disturbed by any of the squad members. While they would not have barged in, the office was hardly soundproof. The 6th division captain still had a reputation to maintain after all.

After several minutes, Byakuya said to Renji in his normal, emotionless voice, "Now that you have been punished for your tardiness, Abarai, you may return to work. I expect you to be caught up on your paperwork before you leave for the day."

A hurt look crossed the taller man's face, but he hid it quickly, knowing better than to argue with his superior officer, now matter the situation. "Hai Bya – I mean hai, taicho." He sat down to work until dinner, knowing he would have to stay late to complete his work.

The noble noticed both the look and the misstep. He needed to reassure his newfound companion that this had not been a retraction of his offer but simply a short break. They could not behave like this in the office. However, he knew that Renji would not listen to anything he said at the moment, so he would leave a note on his vice-captain's desk during dinner.

Renji ended up eating his meal with Hisagi, Kira, and Matsumoto. They were all hoping that Renji was still in one piece after what they had observed with Kuchiki-taicho. They all feared ending up at the business end of Senbonzakura.

"Well, he is still in one piece at least," commented Kira as Renji wandered into the dining hall, looking shell shocked and depressed. Hisagi was more concerned with his expression. "He may be physically okay, but something happened."

"I really hope Kuchiki-taicho didn't get too mad at him. Its my fault Renji ended up so drunk and that we got kicked out. I am curious where he ended up though."

"Hey guys," said Renji quietly. He sat down and simply stared at his food, looking morose.

"Cheer up, man. You obviously survived Kuchiki-taicho's punishment without a scratch. It could have been worse," said Hisagi casually. He was alarmed when Renji suddenly looked stricken at the mention of his punishment.

"Yeah, I guess . . . wait a second, how do you know about that?" Renji demanded.

Kira quietly interjected with, "Kuchiki-taicho came and talked to all of us trying to find you after you didn't show up for work."

"Oh."

"By the way, where did you end up after we got kicked out? I was worried when your captain said you hadn't shown up yet," mentioned Matsumoto.

"Um, outside somewhere. My captain found me and sent me to work. That's all." He dropped into taciturn silence, obviously not wanting to discuss the events of the day. The other three glanced at one another but decided not to press the issue.

Upon returning to the office, Renji hurried to his desk, avoiding eye contact with the noble who was quietly filling out paperwork. As he began his own work, he noticed a small scrap of paper on the corner of his desk. It appeared to be a handwritten note, but he had no idea who would have left it for him. Most people just used Hell Butterflies if they wanted to contact each other. He quietly pulled it over to himself and began to read:

_ Renji,_

_ After you are done with your work, come over to_

_ my estate. We can continue our discussion from _

_ earlier with more privacy._

_ ~Byakuya_

Renji glanced up at Byakuya, who was still diligently working on his paperwork. Grey eyes met crimson with an unusual amount of warmth, silently communicating both an apology and an invitation. A quick nod conveyed acceptance and the day continued.

By the end of the official workday, Byakuya was done with his paperwork while Renji still had about a third of his left. The only words between them were "Good evening, Abarai". As soon as the noble was gone, Renji abandoned any pretense of neatness in order to finish the reports as quickly as possible.

He returned to his quarters to make himself presentable, not wanting to arrive at the Kuchiki estate looking like he had just crawled out of a Rukongai gutter. He changed into a clean shihakusho and brushed out his hair. He decided to leave his hair loose since Byakuya seemed to like it that way. Finally, after a last, nervous glance in the mirror, he shunpo'ed to the estate.

Renji stood at the entrance to the Kuchiki family estate, awkwardly wondering whether or not to knock. He had visited the house a couple times before, but those were all visits to Rukia. Since they all involved him using the window rather than being invited through the front door, he understandably didn't know what to do. Finally, after waiting a few minutes outside, he gathered his courage and knocked, trying not to let his nerves show. A servant answered almost immediately and silently escorted him to an empty dining room where he was left alone.

Only moments later, Byakuya came into the room, dressed in a silver and navy yukata rather than his uniform. Renji also noted the absence of both his kensaiken and scarf. The lieutenant gaped at the man before him, whom he considered to be the most beautiful he had ever seen.

"Unless you intend to capture flies, Renji, you should close your mouth," said the noble with a dry voice, his lips curved into a small smile. The red head abruptly clapped his mouth shut and blushed a deep red. He hadn't realized how transfixed he had been. He also hadn't expected to hear his first name from the captain's lips, although now that he had he couldn't hear it enough.

"Right. So what did you want me to come over here for, sir?" said Renji in a slightly breathless voice.

"While we are not at work, you may address me by my given name. As to why I invited you over here, I thought it was obvious after our encounter this afternoon."

"I was hoping that was why, but I don't understand how you could want me. I'm just some Rukon dog while you're a noble, perfect and beautiful and . . . " rambled Renji.

Byakuya raised an eyebrow at Renji's sudden declaration and decided to interrupt before he went any farther. "None of that matters to me. I see only a man willing to stand up for his friends. Someone who can see past the mask I wear to see someone worth loving. I only wish I had realized both our feelings earlier."

"Well, ya always seemed out of reach to me, so perfect that I would never have a chance. I tried not to let you see how I felt so you wouldn't look down on me anymore than you already did," stated Renji while watching the noble's reaction.

"Ever since you fought me to save Rukia, I haven't looked down on you. I tried to keep my distance so you wouldn't notice my feelings for you. I though someone as vibrant as you would hate the idea of being with someone so cold," the sincerity in his voice startled Renji. He couldn't believe that Byakuya could ever feel inferior.

"I always wanted to surpass you, ever since I was in the academy, but I still haven't managed it yet. I guess now I never will," sighed Renji.

"You may not have surpassed me, but you have proven yourself to be my equal. I love you, Renji."

Renji's grin lit up his face, "I love you too, Byakuya."

A cheerful dinner followed this, their first talk as equals. Once they were done, Byakuya quietly beckoned and led the way to his bedroom. As soon as the door hid them from prying eyes, a passionate kiss confirmed their feelings. Byakuya slowly disrobed his newfound lover, exposing the tribal tattoos covering his tanned skin. As the final pieces of clothing fell, he took off his own yukata and led Renji to the bed.

Early the next morning, Byakuya woke before his lover. Using a light finger, he traced the jagged black lines on Renji's body, eliciting an unconscious shudder from the red head, although it did not cause him to wake. A tender kiss on the lips finally caused the lieutenant's eyes to pop open and glance at his captain in wonder.

"I thought it was all a dream," murmured Renji drowsily.

"It was not, unfortunately we do have to go to work today. We can go to the office together, but other than that we should not advertise our relationship right now. The Shinigami Women Association can be ruthless."

"Alright, I wish we didn't have to hide but I guess I understand. I don't want to get stalked by those crazy ladies trying to get pictures. At least we will see each other at work. Since most of the squad is terrified of you, we should be able to do what we want if the door is locked. " Renji's smirk did not bode well for the noble's reputation.

"That's true, but need I remind you, the office is not soundproof. If anyone hears something inappropriate, you will be the recipient of Senbonzakura's blades." The threat was lessened by the small smile that accompanied it.

They dressed and ate breakfast before arriving at the 6th division barracks. Right before they left, Renji had stolen a quick kiss from his lover before shunpo'ing away with a gleeful look. Getting into the spirit, Byakuya had quickly given chase. His superior speed meant he was able to return the favor by kissing Renji senseless before they were within range of the barracks. He left him there as he continued the race to the office.

By the time Renji regained his composure and arrived at the office, Byakuya was already seated at his desk. The volatile red head stormed up to him and loudly whispered' "That was cheating!"

"It is not my fault you can't handle my kissing expertise," said Byakuya with a straight face, although his eyes gleamed.

"I guess not. At least I got you to loosen up some for once, " Renji crowed with triumph.

"You are lucky I love you or I might take offense to that."

"I love you too."


End file.
